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OH….To be, to do, to be again.
Wash, rinse, dry and repeat.

OH boy! The universe certainly gives me the things that I NEED and not necessarily what I WANT.

Just when I think that things are going oh so well and smoothly! BAM! I’m knocked down.

People and events are in our lives to test, guide and support us.
You choose how, when and why they should be in your life.

The real question is how am I testing, guiding and supporting and loving myself?
Is it in a way that is serving me?
If not, can I change it?
Do I want to change?
It won’t be easy, but it will be damn worth it!
I am damn worth it!


The unmysterious human condition to be surrendered to…
❤ LIFE IS A GAME, You choose how to play! ❤ x

Reality Is What We Take To Be True


Reality is what we take to be true.
What we take to be true is what we believe.

What we believe is based upon our perceptions.
What we perceive depends on what we look for.

What we look for depends on what we think.
What we think depends on what we perceive.

What we perceived determines what we believe.
What we believe determines what we take to be true.

What we take to be true is our reality.

David Bohm, Berkeley 1977 


Creating Freedom

‘Creating Freedom’ is a project comprising a series of films, essays, and paintings on the subjects of power, control and freedom.

The Films:

The independently produced documentary series explores the relationship between freedom and power in democratic society, drawing together interviews with some of the world’s leading intellectuals, academics, journalists and activists. A wide-ranging analysis of the mechanisms and manifestations of power, ‘Creating Freedom’ joins the dots between the education system, the media, PR, democracy, and economics to offer an alternative perspective on today’s society and the future we are creating.

All the films will ultimately be freely available on this site.

The Essays:

The author of the series, Raoul Martinez, will periodically be writing essays developing and expanding on various ideas explored in the films. These will be sent to all those on the mailing list and catalogued on this site.

The Paintings:

The ‘Creating Freedom’ project began with an idea for a multi-media exhibition on freedom and control. It was to include a series of symbolic paintings, essays, video interviews with, and painted portraits of, thinkers and activists. In time, ambitions for the project grew and the video interviews evolved into a film, and then a series of films.

Elements of the original concept remain, including a growing number of paintings and portraits. These elements have been integrated into this site.

Fanning Old Flames…

So…I don’t know why it is, however in the past couple of years I have experienced flames coming out of the wood work. What is this, why is this? Is this the universe testing me?

Old flames can be among the best friends you have. I have two in my life that are now like family and best friends. Although it is clear that we do not work on a romantic level, the fundamental understanding of friendship, surrendering our ego and having compassion remains as the foundation to a long-lasting friendship. It’s fantastic when we can truly be ourselves, let down our guard without the feeling of being judged and just having the space to be.

It’s important to ask if whether you were friends as much as you were lovers, and, very importantly, where there was a respectable gap between breaking up and making contact again. Even in the context of them contacting you have you truly giving yourself the time to heal and truly forgive the other person. I don’t believe in forgetting because that is just plain naive. But forgiving is key.

If the person left you, or was abusive (physically or emotionally manipulative), or it ended badly, don’t even consider trying to get the relationship back in any form. Sometimes you may feel desperate to keep some kind of contact, and even become quite obsessive about that person. In that situation, you have to protect yourself, by truly letting them go. Don’t fall into the dark rabbit hole! Trust me I have been there once and twice over. Better to cut ties when your gut is telling you, ‘no!’

The feeling of ‘love’ you may think you feel for your ex is actually the urge to get back what you once had, when things were good. I just got and email from an ex last week and it had brought up so many painful memories and I could see through the charming words to gain my attention. It was a good reality check…My ego was glad to hear the tone of validation and veneration though it quickly shifted to a another space…I felt a sinking in my heart and felt a tremendous amount of sadness and yet a deep love for myself. Through the three years of ebbing back and forth of healing myself and experiencing other unfulfilling, emotionally manipulative relationship, I discovered that there was this ironic rebound effect  (Wegner, Schneider, Carter, and White,1987) that was nipping at my heels. I was not fully embracing the healing and letting go aspect of it all. I was suppressing and not fully expressing what was going on. I was scared, ashamed and most of all my ego did not want to see that I was the common denominator. I was allowing this to happen to me. I wasn’t going to be the victim or have someone tell me that it’s all just my story. That’s not compassion, that is not love, that is not holding space for myself or for the other person.

It had been three years since I have been in contact with this person…the email read:

“There’s an unspoken presence that about you that illuminates peoples hearts. That’s why people like to be around you. When you walk into a room you create a sense of calm just with your being. How can one not be intrigued by angelic posture? You are a born soilder of the Light. The world is changing fast and none of us can afford to fall back to old habits. You are a born leader, I think we both are. I don’t want to make exceptions but it seems we both are coming into our power. Again you are an angel and I’m happy you for you. It’s your dharma to help people, no doubt about it.  Stay light don’t allow the illusory world to weight you down. Remember who you are every day. I know you are a powerful extraordinary person.”

I have had some crazy relationships I must admit. Without them, it would not have given me the strength, wisdom, love and courage I have for myself today.

Choose wisely and live in your own loving truth of what is
good for you.

Humility Opens The Door


To be truly humble is to remain open…Everyday I am experiencing things about myself and others that constantly open the door for opportunity for instruction in my life.
I am constantly being reminded to avoid being committed to results and to seek to change myself.

Challenging but very true I once read that a true humble person will:
Never Judges
Never Punishes
Never Embarrasses
Never Defeats
Never Fights
Never Predicts
Never Impresses
Never Forgets the Needs of Others…

Humility reveals what pride conceals.
It soothes where pride incites.
It is silent; while pride speaks.
It listens; while pride holds back.
It gives; pride takes.
It compliments; pride criticizes.
It helps; pride destroys.

Vanity, selfishness and pride can keep you enclosed in a fortress of your own making.
Humility softens the heart, it grows and it opens the door to all other virtues in life.



Mirror Mirror….Seeing Yourself In Others

Everyone is a mirror for us.

So easily do we forget that we cannot operate in the world if we don’t have others to help us see ourselves.

It’s a life long practice to see the weaknesses in ourselves instead of denouncing the faults of others.

The defects I see in others are a mirror and into a world in which I might better examine myself.

The heart can recieve only that which it is willing to give…

AND so, when I bolster another with honest affection, my heart opens up to receive affection.

And when I give harsh judgements or withhold praise, I notice this is what I receive from others…

In every interaction, I look for the opportunity to give that which I myself needs.

THIS is a simple rule, yet I am only human…

There are times I fail to see its benefits when I am focused on receiving while engaged in the process of giving.

GIVE sincerely!

False flattery will only get you the same, and condescending compliments will do little to raise your spirits.

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